Bright Mourning…

A year or so ago I came out of hospital very focused on getting my life back together. Trying to move on from a life changing injury that had turned me from a Professional Cyclist and ‘Action Dad’ into a Paraplegic. Wheelchair bound.

The first six months I had great mental attitude, each day, with the help of my amazing wife Lisa, I’d go about ‘defeating’ this situation. You know what… I was doing it too. I really think I was making amazing progress.

Then my Mum died, and my understanding of life was brought sharply into focus.

Even now, writing the words ‘Mum died’ sends a lurching crunch through my stomach. She had a very aggressive secondary Cancer, that in just a few months took her away. Losing Mum had a terrible effect on everyone in my family. She was the love we all revolved around.

I found the grief very difficult to handle, I wondered how I would ever have the same interest in each day, even why I would bother to engage with the World. If someone so special, so supportive, caring, attentive and compassionate could be taken away from us, then what was the point in it all?

My confidence in coping with paralysis was completely destroyed. I’d let myself believe the accident and my injury was as bad as things could get, the worst thing in my life had already happened… I’d been so wrong.

The people I’d started to rely on for support were suffering too. How could I expect them to find each day any easier than me?

My mum and Lisa had been close from the moment they met. They laughed together, supported each other, spoke on the phone nearly every day, they were the best of friends. Lisa was clearly rocked by her loss.

And my son Alfie was facing life without his Nanna. It was too soon and not fair for him to have lost her guidance and warmth.

The two people I had supporting me were now finding each day harder to face, but still they had to rally around my daily needs. I felt so guilty to be more of a burden at this time, more than I ever had.

The funeral was beautiful, if that can ever be the case? Both my Brother Andy and Alfie said words that would have made my Mum’s heart sing. The sun shone through a stained glass window and gently touched my Mum’s coffin…

In the months following the funeral my whole family has done what fabulous families do in these situations. We have, despite distance, rallied around each other to ensure the sorrow is shared. Especially thinking of my Nan who of course faced every parents worst nightmare of losing a child. Yet it was my Nan, the rock of this family, who gave me the first piece of wisdom in how to move forward, how to cope.

“The grief and pain won’t ever go away. You will learn to accommodate it.” That is what she told me.

So I started to put that into action. I started to try to accommodate all those deep feelings of loss. All the memories, the magic moments shared. A rich and sublime mixture of thoughts and feelings. A past long gone and a future that can never be…

And I started to recognise that process. I have realised that in my first energetic months after leaving Hospital, where I had been so focused and full of action, I had not understood that I need to mourn for my physical loss too. I have memories of a blessed bike riding career, moments of joy playing football and running with my son, even playing chase with my childhood sweetheart who is now my wife. A past full of physical capability long gone, and of course a future I expected, that can never be…

I have to accommodate those feelings, mourning for my Mum and mourning the use of my body below the waist. I have to do that because the memories are sublime and need to be cherished.

In death my Mum managed to teach me one of the most important lessons life has to offer. Every single moment is precious, right now. Don’t fail to notice it, don’t waste it.

I left hospital thinking I’d fight back from the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I will never believe things are as bad as they can be again. Instead I will honour my thoughts of the past. The future from here is just fiction. Anything is possible…

note:

Thank you for reading. Please understand I know I’m not unique when it comes to the feeling of loss. I wrote this post to myself  because I needed to. My FB and Twitter posts are always positive, because I don’t want to be the downer on anyone’s day. However I need to be honest to myself and writing this stuff down helps me. I’ve posted it here because I hope it’s been useful to someone else too :-) 

Martyn

Me & My Mum

104 thoughts on “Bright Mourning…

  1. Holy shit, Martyn, you have been my hero for years. As long as I can remember I idolised your riding. I got to meet you a few years ago at Silverstone where you were doing a show. I was a total eejit and mumbled and blustered my conversation. Now I look up to you even more – your grit and determination in the face of what you have had to deal with is truly inspiring. You have made me realise that you never can have a bad day, just an off day.

    Thanks again for being a legend, and all the best.

    Dave

  2. Thanks for this Martyn,
    You are truly an inspirational person, to share this with others proves that.
    We all need reminding about making the most of what we have, it is so easy to forget at times.
    Thank you again for your positivity

    Andy – Robbo

    1. Hi Andy,
      You are right, it really is easy to forget how each day is full of opportunity. Thanks for the comment and glad you enjoyed the post.
      Martyn

  3. A true inspiration. Such meaningful words, thank you for sharing them. I’ve followed you for half my life and hearing about your accident then watching your recovery has been amazing. I was blessed enough to see you ride and wish you every success going forward

    1. Hi Ryk, Hey thanks for following my riding and glad you’ve enjoyed what I’ve got up to over the years.
      Thanks for the comment and take care,
      Martyn

  4. Martyn, thank you for writing those words. Truly beautiful and contain truths that resound with me. My parents separated when I was very young and then divorced. I spent 8 years not seeing my dad as I couldn’t handle him due to his being extremely eccentric and unreliable. I had three years seeing him, having him at my stag do and wedding, and then last year he died after a heart attack and a week on intensive care. I had lost a friend only weeks before.

    I have admired you as a rider since I was a young teenager watching you and Martin hawes and I admire you in your journey now, thank you for sharing and being an ongoing inspiration.

    1. Hi Joe,
      I’m sorry to hear about your Dad and you friend. It’s unbelievably hard to cope when these things happen. Personally I’m focused on honouring my Mum by thinking about her often and with happiness in my heart when I do. I hope you can do the same.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  5. You’ve described exactly how I’ve felt till other lost the most amazing woman I’ve ever know 11months on and the loss the grief never goes away it just becomes a little easier to deal with .respect to you and yours .

  6. Martyn, you get it. Thank you for this post, it touched me. Nothing that happens from here on out, you never affect what you accomplished on the bike. And I love the bike party videos. But you are Martin Ashton and Martin Ashton is who he is whether not he ever got on the bike, or ever will again. Whether he was a peak performance athlete, or never had that opportunity. Just be you every day. And appreciate those who love you and are around you. That really is what it’s all about.

    1. Hi Jim,
      Thanks for that message. I try hard each day to appreciate what I have. I’m really aware that on the grand scheme of things I’m certainly a very lucky boy.
      I’m glad you have enjoyed my riding over the years and thanks for the comment.
      Martyn

  7. Lost my dad yesterday, was so touching to read this and I always remember him telling me ” you never get a second go at today make it your best” thank you for the inspiration

    1. Hi Ian,
      I’m so sorry to hear of you loss. Very kind of you to have shared that here and I’m so grateful that my post has been comforting or supportive.
      Your Dad gave you great advice.
      Martyn

  8. Firstly your writing is beautiful, poetic even, you are writing straight from the heart and to be privy to that I feel honoured and maybe a little stalkerish at the same time.
    The profoundness of how you highlight the preciousness of every moment makes me want to kick my own ass, work harder, push harder, stop moaning and just embrace the now. You are brave and please continue to write, your words touch me. Love Izzie. X

    1. Hi Izzie,
      I’m glad the post hit a chord and you found it useful. That is awesome. If the words here will provide you with a positive energy on a dark day then it will have been worth it.
      Many thanks,
      Martyn

  9. How devastating for you especially to lose your much lived Mum. You are an inspiration young man. I cried reading this! God bless you!

    1. Hi Joan, I’m sorry I made you cry, but I understand why. It is a privilege to know that words I’ve written to myself have also touched others and helped in some way, or been supportive.
      Thanks for the comment,
      Martyn

  10. Hi Martyn, Thank you for your honesty and your bravery in sharing your thoughts, even in our darkest hour we can be the light at the end tunnel for someone else. You are right writing down your thoughts kind of helps, its almost as if you are filing them.

    Your Nan is right, I was told similar 11 years ago “The grieving, pain and loss fills almost every ounce of the person you used to be, the it doesn’t shrink but you grow around that pain until it becomes a smaller part of you.

    For what its worth when I saw your first video on the cycle show I found you an inspiration (I bought my first road bike), when I heard about your accident, I was inspired by your fight and bravery, now reading of you loss I’m inspired by you wanting to help others at you darkest time.

    Barry

    1. Hi Barry,
      So pleased to hear my RBP videos helped inspire you to get a road bike. That is awesome.
      I really hope my words here have helped some others feel better or supported. I wrote it to myself, I do that often so there will probably be more. It helps me, greta to think it could help someone else too.
      kind regards,
      Martyn

  11. Hi Martyn,

    WOW, you are so amazing and inspirational is whatever journey you are facing. I follow you on Facebook and love ALL YOUR ACTION PACKED adventures. So amazing, your post of your heart felt emotions of your Mum, I am so sorry for your loss, and your recollection of your journey this past year. Congratulations on a successful 1st year on your journey, clearly amazing. I just wanted to say thanks for the great videos of the past, I still love to watch them, thank you for your great photos, videos of today, are as awesome, thank you for being You, you are a great man with a great heart of great compassion of never to quit! I hope this message finds you well! Continue on My Friend! Mike, MN USA ~ Cheers Mate!

    1. Thanks Mike,
      I’m so pleased you have enjoyed the post and shared those thoughts here, I appreciate it.
      I’ve loved my time riding bikes, and to think that action has inspired others is not only a joy but a real privilege.
      Many thanks,
      Martyn

  12. Hi Martyn,

    Like you I have lost my best friend, a mum and an all round good egg…..
    This is not the worst part, she happened to have died on my dad’s Birthday!!
    We as family rallied round and the first tabled meal together was a sullen one as we have lost our matriarch. With time the family grew stronger, but then another shock came in the form of my second cousin, who was diagnosed Leukemia aged just 3!! We got behind her in her fight, and after her chemotherapy treatment she was in remission aged 5-6. This is when she was given the grave news that her grandad (my uncle) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and thus later sucummbed to the disease. Then to find that her cancer came back and now aged 8!

    She is in her last year of radiotherapy and hopefully by November she will be in remission…. I have seen a lot of bad karma in my life, but it has shown me that despite it’s downs, there is a purpose that you can serve and mine right now, is to run a personal half marathon and to raise some money to CLIC Sargent after impressing me with their selfless work with the families who has a child with cancer and supporting them. You sir, are just you a true inspiration, please let time be your healer and maybe we could mutually sponsor each other maybe?

    Shane Zahra Justgiving.com Ridgeway Half Marathon.

    Good luck with your charity push, you are doing awesome dude!

    Shane.

    1. Hi Shane,
      Thank you so much for sharing your touching story here. I really appreciate it.
      It’s very inspiring to hear of you plans to run that marathon and raise money for such a great cause. Congratulations and the best of luck.
      Martyn

  13. Martyn, I was kinda mad at you for inspiring me out of my hospital bed & back on my feet… and eventually to ride again [by my 40th on 14th March]… but when you didn’t notice, it hit me a bit, [although others did realise how riding a mile down the gardens at snail pace was such a massive step for me], I realised that it was your message to me that inspired me out of that bed & to achieve my goal, not the glory for actually doing it. [although if Tim March can be bothered to click the old Like button ;-) )

    I knew how beautifully you wrote, but had simply forgotten.
    Tonight’s read has pushed out a fair few tears & held a consistent lump in my throat.

    (oh & to aid my Myelitis recovery (flat easy-ish miles by the sea), I’ve bought a Wilier Izoard XP – next time I ride past the ‘disabled’ facilities by Boscombe pier, I may just try getting on the roof and landing some sort of flip ;-)

    Dude, as you can see, I cannot write as well as you, but I’m here… I’m now walking, I’m talking. I’m trying to ride, I’m trying to make my wife know that things ‘have’ changed, but will never…

    The parental loss is something I have feared my entire life & am distraught at the thought of even at 40, although it may be partly the reason that I never really grew up too much :-)

    I’ve written way too much dude – I only wish you and your beautiful family the very best & I know that after this very tough time, you will all rally round and become even stronger.

    I always look forward to seeing what you’re doing next…

    1. Andy, huge congratulations on achieving that goal and thanks for reading and sharing here.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

    1. Hi Sabina,
      I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that my words show you that in time things will feel less raw.
      Thanks for sharing here, I really appreciate it.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  14. Thank you for sharing those words. they are so true. i lost my husband suddenly over 2 years ago and have found it hard to move on and yet those words touched me. i hope you have a good and happy life. take care.x

    1. Margaret I’m really sorry to hear of your loss. It must be so tough to move on from something like that. If my post has helped in any way then that is great, I feel privileged to have been a positive step for you.
      Many thanks for sharing here.
      Martyn

  15. Since a keen youngster I’ve followed your escapades and never really considered you ever likely to be effected by any real life scenarios that would effect normal people. When I learned of your life changing event it made me realize bad things cab happen to good people, but it doesn’t need to end there. You’ve taught me that every day is a day to challenge obscurity, strive for excellence & to never accept considered normality. I’s sad to hear of this loss but equally positively charged to hear you’ve found a method of striving forwards, as always you’ll never quit.

    1. Hi Rob,
      Thanks for following my antics over the years. I’m glad this post has been useful too. That’s great.
      As you said, never quit.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  16. From the heart and soul, your a strong individual Martyn and you have done amazingly since your accident and losing a close one is nothing you ever get over, you just learn to cope day by day. Best wishes to you and your family

    1. Hi Jason,
      Thanks for the message. It is hard and I agree, it isn’t about ‘getting over’ our losses. For me it’s about accepting the memories are very special and to be cherished. That has helped me.
      Many thanks,
      Martyn

  17. Thank you for this beautiful post. Your honest and eloquent words moved me. Blessings on you and your wonderful family.

  18. Beautifully written my mum like yours was a rock a wonderful loving person we learn so much from good parenting be positive I’ve always liked the saying learn from the past live in the present and have faith in the future sometimes that’s all we can do.walk with the sun in your face and your shadows will fall behind you I wish you all the very best in your future

  19. Martyn I feel emotional reading this. I came to know of you back when road bike party 1st went viral. I had started cycling to lose weight and get fit. I was 17 stone and heavy drinker. I copied road bike party and listened to it endlessly whilst cycling. I have now lost 3 stone and tomorrow Sun 26th will cycle Etape Loch Ness in support of McMillan Cancer Support. I have managed to raise 99% of my target. You will be very much in my thoughts Sun as I tackle this massive sportive. All the best m8.

    1. Congratulations Malcolm on such an awesome journey. Very cool and I’m so pleased I’ve been a positive energy in that process. It’s a privilege in fact, thank you.
      Best of luck in the sportive.
      Martyn

  20. There’s nothing wrong with being human, by which I mean, not perfect, happy and in control all the time. You can be a positive person and still feel sad, specially when there is so much to be sad about at such times in your life. You have to work through it and respect that sadness and let yourself come out of it the other side when you’re done. Sadness and negative emotions can be avoided and you can block them out but that leads to all kinds of neuroses and unhealthy behaviours!

    You are amazing, and it is great sharing your story as many people find it very difficult to express themselves at times like these.

    All the best.

    1. Hi Lisa,
      I think you are right Lisa, I need to write this stuff down because it stops me building it up and feeling out of control. I need to know what is in my head so I get it all out.
      If in posting it here has helped anyone else then that is such an amazing bonus.
      Many thanks,
      Martyn

  21. This post is amazing. I too looked upon being paralysed as a process I could face and fight but time and life taught me its a loss that needed to be mourned. Your words and your strength inspire me to be strong. It has been 10 years since my accident but it’s posts like this that remind me why I fight each day and why I am blessed to only be mourning the loss of my legs!

    1. Thanks Laurie,
      I’m very grateful to have had an opportunity to be encouraging to you. I have had so much fantastic advice of fellow SCI patients over the last year, so to be able to offer this encouragement to you is great. Thanks for sharing here and best of luck for the future.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  22. Martin
    What can I say? Seems like all the Sh*t fell at once – life has a habit of doing this. However, from my own experience one never gets too much – just enough for one to think “I can’t cope” then self preservation kicks in and all becomes a little less murky. I have had problems with my hip since I was 6 years old and at 55 and two hip replacements later – (cos I really do not have a pelvis on one side) im still here, struggling but there you go, struggling is a part of my life! I have my aged parents 87 & 85 – both with variants of Dementia living 200 miles away. My brother and I take weekends in turn and we have carers during the week. Life is hard but it’s still good. One has to take time for one self too and give yourself a break from time to time. I think you are splendid and now is the time you can give your gratitude and help back to those people who helped you to be so positive when your life was at a make or break point. Onwards and upwards. Mx

    1. Yes onwards for sure. Thanks Maria for sharing your story here and well done for battling so hard. It sounds like you and your brother are doing a great job in taking care of your parents. That’s amazing.
      Kindest regards,
      Martyn

  23. You know what, your words ARE useful but mine have deserted me (I’ve been sitting here for a good 30 minutes re-typing after re-typing).

    You sponsored me for riding the first stage of last year’s Tour de France in Yorkshire and I did it in aid of Cyclists Fighting Cancer. You were actually the first person to donate to the cause and I was chuffed that someone who I didn’t know would make such an act. Perhaps unknowingly, you inspired me to get stuck into the training and to dig deep when the event started to take its toll on the old body out on the course!

    Now, my Dad is going through the latter throes of LIVING with cancer. It’s been difficult, very difficult watching a once strong man succumb to this awful disease but he lives on with strength in his heart and mind. We’re all actively being positive to make sure that we don’t miss opportunities to enjoy the here and now.

    So, keep inspiring, your words are a great reminder to take stock and reassess.

    All the best for you and your family.

    1. Hi Rob,
      Great words. So sorry to hear of your Dad’s battle. I’m glad you are enjoying the opportunities and time you have together. It’s difficult and I wish you strength in that.
      Glad I’ve been helpful too, thanks for following and especially grateful for you sharing here.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  24. Thankyou 4 sharing and thankyou 4 reminding me 2 be in the moment and 2 be grateful…..best wishes to you & yours from down under :)

    1. Thanks Jenny,
      Hey it’s all about the Now! I try to live like that but in all honesty it’s hard to do all the time isn’t it. For me it’s just about trying each day.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the post and great to get props from down under.
      Martyn

  25. Hi Martyn, I really found your words a great help with coping with the loss of losing my mum only this week. I loved you on the bikes and even more so now. Your are an inspiration to me and great asset to your family don’t ever forget that. Thank you.. Wayne x

    1. Hi Wayne,
      I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, I know the feelings can be unbelievably raw in the early stages. I’m happy this post has been useful to you in such a time. Happy is the wrong word, honoured is more like it. So I thank you for reading and my best wishes to you and your family.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

    1. Hi Mike,
      These are words I had to write down, because it helps me digest the feelings I’m going through. I’m so glad you found them useful and as you say, powerful. That’s good.
      Martyn

  26. Dear Mr Ashton

    I thought you were inspirational on your bike but the inspiration, positivity and wisdom you have shown and shared since your accident and now with these simple words has surpassed any of your bike skills.

    Thank you for sharing and giving me a real role model for my children (including your work in the Dirt Shed Show!)

    1. Thanks Stephen, I’m glad you have enjoyed the bike action as well as my activity over the last couple of years. Haha I can only apologise for the DSS, it’s chaos but a lot of fun :-)

  27. Wonderful words Martyn, your Mum would be so proud and wouldn’t want you to grieve. She will still be with you and will inspire you and your family always.
    I had a wonderful Mum and mother-in-law, long since gone but the wonderful legacy they left has given such wonderful memories and inspiration to their remaining children and grandchildren, as your wonderful Mum will have done. All the very best to you and your family. XX

    1. Many thanks Doreen, You are absolutely right. My Mum would want all her family to continue to love life, and we all try to do that. I find I’m more able, over time, to indulge in the fantastic memories I have and enjoy them rather than grieve.
      Thanks for the kind words,
      Martyn

  28. martyn on the connecting-with-people-ometer you are fairly unique. Look around at how many people here are opening up.

    Thank you for sharing your latest, it is so touching and my heart goes out to you and your family. You should know that like good friends a good audience doesn’t just expect the high times. And sometimes, maybe, an audience can give something back to the guy out front.

    Youve shown us all what an immensely strong physical body, mastery of adrenalin and mind can achieve despite the overwhelming physics and survival instincts that pin most of us to the ground.

    Over the years you and your mates on your bikes have fascinated us. Your antics on bikes have inspired us. It has been literally wonderful watching you. And this is why we’ve been so happy to be in your audience.

    For me I’m so glad that social media now provides the platform for us to marvel at your heart as well as your riding. Put simply mate I loved the red cannondale back in the day but it’s always been you that we watched. After all, let’s not forget, you are Martyn Ashton. X

    1. Thank you for that message Ed. Haha, I loved that red Cannondale too, it’s still in my loft. I’m very grateful to have had an audience over the years, all these friends & followers have been such a source of comfort and support over the last two years. I’m very grateful for it.
      I hope to see you out on the trails some day,
      Martyn

  29. Simply beautiful words Martin, you continue to inspire and amaze myself and many every day. Loss is very difficult to cope with in any context and I’m sure your words will help many! Thank-you for sharing!!

  30. Martyn I don’t know you and have come across this blog by accident. What you have written above is bang on. Having recently suffered a loss, I know exactly what you mean. I hope to learn to accommodate it but it isn’t an easy task. Wishing you well.

    1. Hi Daniel, It isn’t easy is it. My Nan gave me that advice and she speaks from great experience, so I trust it is something that happens over time. Since accepting that process I’ve found it’s possible to enjoy the memories and indulge in them with far more comfort. I hope you can do that too.
      Martyn

  31. thatbwas not only inspirational and honest, but beautiful. Having read the comments it has touched the hearts of so many people. Wishing you very good luck with your progress and the rest of your life, and remember you beloved mum will always be watching over you. Xx

  32. You are simply inspirational martyn. being strong enough to keep smiling on the outside so your loved ones don’t see the pain and battles going on, on the inside is a gift very few have. You have it in abundance that’s why your family will always cherish you. You are still the same guy I spent time with at so many races. kind happy and infectiously uplifting. Hope to bump into you one of these days Mate.

    1. Hi Alistair,
      Mate thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate it.
      And yeah, I hope to see you out and about.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  33. Martyn.

    A great inspiration to me when i was young and reading all the magazine’s you were featured in. I still have one of the Cannondale Beasts of the East bikes you signed way back when, mint on my wall!

    You still are an inspiration today.

    Somethings in life change but some other things never change. Thank you.

    Matthias

    1. Hi Matthias,
      Great to hear you are keeping a Beast of the East safe. Many thanks for the message and glad you enjoyed the post.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  34. Hi Martyn, Thanks so much for this real heartfelt post. I’m so sorry for your loss! Mothers are so very special! For years my boys (husband and sons) have admired your riding, they all think the world of you! Three years ago my world fell apart when my youngest boy was born with Down syndrome…or at least at the time I thought it had! Our future wasn’t going to be the path I’d planned….but my little man is such a joy and has taught me so much! Not the least to live in the present….to deal with today! I find I have the strength to do that….if I look too far down the road ahead i get scared…but I can face today! Thank you for being such an inspiration, not just in your riding, but in how you face life! bless you! Claire

    1. Hi Claire, thank you so much for sharing your story here. I really appreciate it and feel privileged that my post has affirmed your spirit towards dealing with life.
      Many thanks,
      Martyn

  35. Hi martyn, my friend and I were riding back home the other day from our saturday ride, when I noticed coming towards me was a man in a wheelchair, once we rode past I turned and said to my mate, ‘that man in the wheelchair is probably the best bike riders in the world and one very brave person to be getting on with his life and not looking sorry for himself’. my mate asked ‘who was it then?’ I explained none other than martyn Ashton, you are an inspiration to us all, and I’m sorry for your loss, probably explains why you looked sad when I nodded and smiled at you, keep up the positive attitude martyn, from a long time fan
    Glen.

    1. Hi Glen,
      Mate thank you for that story and the kind words. That is an awesome thing for you to say (I’m gonna show my son :-)
      I can assure you that the grumpy face would only have been through temporary tiredness from pushing. Day to day I’m very positive and please don’t think I dwell in dark thoughts. On the contrary.
      Many thanks for your message here and if we cross paths again please give me a shout hello.
      Martyn

  36. Hi Martyn, so sorry to hear about your mum, I know you were all very close. You are very humble in your approach to what you and the family have had to deal with and your post sure puts the trials in my everyday life into perspective. You are blessed having Lisa by your side and Alfie im sure is growing into an amazing young man. Keep on wheeling xx

    1. Hi Sarah,
      Great to hear from you. I hope you are well. Glad you liked the post and thanks for the kind message.
      Martyn

  37. Thank you for this Martyn, I lost my best mate ten years ago in tragic circumstances and completely fell apart, my belief system in ruins. But I rebuilt from ground zero and am now, I feel a better man than I would have been without that breakdown because it gave me the chance to rebuild myself, a second chance if you will to understand the true value of what is important in life. Wise words from your Nan “learn to accommodate it” so so true. You may not necessarily known it but so many of us have followed your career with a joyous wonder before your accident,yeah,well,we’re still here following you,we’re with you all the way. On behalf of all the mates you have that you’ve yet to meet,keep it coming, Dave.

    1. Hi Dave,
      Congratulations on making it back man. A long road im sure.
      I’m so thankful for the support I’ve received from friends and followers.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  38. Hi Martyn,

    keep up the good work. I only got to know you through the RBP videos which spread like wildfire with the Maltese cycling community and beyond. But beyond that, it is great for us to read your messages on reality and humanity. this one in particular. thanks for sharing and all the best. take care. nick

    p.s. if ever in Malta, give us a call.

    1. Thanks Nick, I’m glad my riding antics have been enjoyed. I feel very honoured to have people still following me now. I’m very lucky.
      Martyn

  39. Just when you think it can’t get worse it can, just when you think it can’t get better, it can.

    Martyn, you are an inspiration, and a brilliant writer, thank you so much for writing this.

    I can empathize with you, I literally felt every sentence you wrote because I went through almost the same life changing experiences except first my Dad died suddenly, then I had the Bike crash. So I understand completely.

    You and I have had our dark days, we’ve both had days where the best we can do is cry, and those days, in retrospect, are good days, part of the healing process.

    We both know that we have to dig deeper than we ever thought possible, we also find the strength that we never knew we had, we do it for those that love us, our Family and Friends.

    The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have. Clearly, you have it Mate! I’m proud of you, we are all proud of you.

    Love and best wishes to you and your Family from myself and mine, all the way from SoCal.

    And thanks again for being you, a true inspiration.

    1. Thank Peter.
      It’s good to hear from someone who is also in a similar situation. Thanks for sharing your story here man.
      Kind regards,
      Martyn

  40. Hi Martyn

    After following on your amazing career over the years, I was shocked when I got the news of your accident. But let me tell you it’s been wonderful to have the opportunity of following you, specially since that unlucky day, your attitude has been beyond comparison. Let me thank you for teaching everyone out there a very important lesson; never give up, whatever time you have, make the most of it.
    Thank you for reminding us of that every single day.
    Wish you all the best, keep it up man.

  41. I discovered you about 4 years ago at London Excel Exhibition I’d never dreaned such things could be done on a mtb your show blew me away. As an able bodied person I’d say I can imagine this or that after reading one of your blogs you describe paralysis and enlightened Me I didn’t have a clue and I thank you so much for that and just keep doing what your doing :-)

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